Dreaming, missing and hoping

I woke up in the middle of the night from a dream I was having. You know the kind where you actually regret waking up because it was so good.

I was dreaming that I was shopping with my sister, we shopped, we walked, we went for lunch in down town Toronto to her favourite vegan place. We were having some quality sister time.

Then I woke up just before I was going to have a bite out of my sandwich. Typical, food wakes me up.

I went to the bathroom and quickly jumped back into the warm bed next to my husband, but I couldn’t fall asleep  All I could think about was my birth family.

We spent the summer with them, three weeks, but we had to divide our time between my a-dad (and his family) and my birth parents. This didn’t go as smoothly as I hoped for, but that is expected when two families have to share one. Plus, the fact that my husband and three children where sharing a home with my birth family of four, came with it’s own struggles. We all like our private space and it was a challenge sharing it I must say.

But two weeks ago, when I watched a film montage that my daughter had put together of our time in Ontario, all I could feel was sadness. Sadness because I missed them so much and I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one. When my sister and b-father saw the movie, they too said that they missed us and that we had such a great time. It’s weird, you don’t remember the ‘not so good times’ when you are missing someone, you only remember the good.

Even though I find myself to be blessed because I found my birth family, when so many haven’t, I still feel a bit bitter at times because of the fact that we live so far away from each other. A big Atlantic pool between us. I often find myself checking plane ticket fares hoping to find a good deal, but there is never a good deal when your family consists of 5 people on one pay check.

I guess I’ll just keep on dreaming…a whatsapp’ing.

“The scariest thing about distance is that you don’t know whether they will miss you, or forget you. “

If you have found birth relatives, do you see them much? Do you live far apart? If so, how do you build up a relationship?

Making God your number 1

You shall have no other gods before me ~~ Exodus 20:3 (ESV)

I’ve been at home for some weeks now due to my back. I’ve been enjoying this restful ME-time. In the morning once the kids and hubby have left the house, I’ve tried to make it a habit to have God time first. You know, have a cup of tea and read the bible. I actually use the ESV program online and turn on the narrator because lately my attention span is left for wanting and so the narrator helps me to concentrate. I use the daily bible ready tool. Two chapters in the OT, a couple of verses in Psalms now and then two chapters in the NT. Once I’m done with that, I read up on my daily devotions subscriptions and then I feel like I’ve done what I needed to do today. There you go God, now it’s me time. Talk to later, before I go to bed.

That sounds wrong, doesn’t it? That’s not the only thing wrong in my routine lately because, instead of first ‘God time’, I’m doing ‘web surfing’ time. I first read the newspapers online (I’m a news freak) while the kids are having breakfast, then I mosy on over to Facebook to see what’s happening there, then I wish everyone a good morning on Twitter and then of course I have to read all the tweets. Then I see an interesting an headline “Murder by starvation” A Victorian depiction of the gang’s cruelty causing the death of Harriet Staunton and her son Tommy…and so of course I HAVE to google all I can find out about that story, because I am a history nerd as well, then wikipedia..and on and on and on!

Does this sound familiar? Or am I a nutt case, lol. Anyway, that’s what was going on this morning when God reminded me of His presence. If I tell you how, you will definitely think of me as a nutt case, so I’m keeping that for myself, for now. But let’s just say that I have become finely attuned to when God is trying to say something.

I’m not going to lecture people on how and when then should have God time, I just want to point out that God wants us to put Him first, that’s why He said in Exodus that we shall not have any other gods. Meaning that we shall not have other idols. Idols ? Yeah, things that keep your focus off of God. Usually it’s things you think you can’t do without. Addictions, those are idols. A person, that can be an idol too. Money? Wanting more and more to whatever cost? Definitely an idol. For me, one of my idols, because I have many that I try to repent of, is the internet. I’m addicted. I need to have my iPhone, iPad or laptop somewhere in the vicinity. Travelling to Canada this summer is already making me nervous because of the lack of WiFi on the plane (yes, I looked it up). So, when God nudge me this morning, I turned again to prayer. Wow, two days in the row that God has humbled me and shown me the points I need to improve. He is to be our number-one priority, with no exceptions. That means that God is over me.  His wishes come before mine.  I must choose to go His way, not my own.

Why is it wrong to worship God AND another idol? Well, just see what the bible has to say about serving two masters in Matthew 6:24 and in Luke 16:13.

Crazy, right? Sounds unfair, right? Sounds selfish of God, right? Well, it might sound like that but it is biblical. Jesus did it, so if Jesus did, you know, the guy who died on the cross for us, well if He did it, then I choose to follow His example because friends, God wants to know that we love Him. I believe that when we make physical idols our number one priority, we are neglecting Him. The proof is in the text of John 14:15 “If you love me, keep my commandments.”

So today the house will be filled with worship music and I have finally gotten down to making ‘table talk conversations’ for our family. Subjects : Teen stuff, Pre-Teen stuff, Funny Stuff, and of course, Godly stuff. I can’t wait to use it this evening. God will be the centre of our home.

My Table Talk Starters

Dear Father God,

Help me today to make to focus on you Lord,  just you, with no worries and other things bewildering my train of thoughts. Thank You for Your amazing grace. I hope I show it with every conversation I have and with everything that I do today. But when I blow it, thanks for giving me an extra measure of grace and letting me know. You rock!

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

What idols have you placed before God?

How are you planning on making God your number 1 today?

Want to know more about idols? Or just about God and Jesus. Then you should definitely check out the ‘Got Questions‘ website, very very useful.

Cannibalistic Hamster

My step-daughter’s mom is leaving town for a week and asked if we could take care of  V’s pet hamster.

I must say, I’m not really fond of the vermin. I L-O-V-E animals , absolutely adore them. But when my kids were younger, they had pet hamsters too. Djungarian hamsters to be more specific.I think they were about 5-6 of them. We didn’t know at the time, but we had a female and a male hamster, and well, I don’t need to tell you the specifics of what had happened, but we ended up with a bunch of hamsters.

Anyway, one day, I realized that we were missing one. I frantically looked around the house to see if it had escaped, checked the cage, checked under the furniture, in all of the rooms, but it was never found again. A few days later, the same thing happened. I asked the kids if they took the hamsters out to play and lost them (My friend had once lost his hamster while playing in the couch with it and that hamster too, was never found again. The hamster went into a hole of the coach and never came out, yuck) But the kids almost in tears and had said that they didn’t.

In the end hamsters kept on disappearing until only one was left, covered in blood. Only then did I know that we were the unfortunate owners of a cannibal hamster. Ta-Da-Daaa!

I wouldn’t go near that thing anymore, I was traumatised. So I gave it away telling the new owners to definitely never buy him a friend !I don’t think that I ever told them why. Then, I told the kids that he too  had disappeared, bad mama! But they know the truth now. Like the time I replaced one of my son’s fish when it died. “ Euh,Mom, why does my fish has more freckles on it’s back”…I can’t remember what I had said, but knowing me, it was probably a load of baloney. Oepsie!

Now having this hamster stay with us for the week is making me uneasy. It took me some time before I would go near it and now that I have, he looks kind of cute. Not in a “I’m going to hold you in my hands so you can eat me cute” just cute in a fluff ball kind of way. Yet, I can’t help it ,I’m still holding a grudge on the entire hamster species. While I’m writing this post, it’s looking at me with his black googly eyes…eating.

evil hamster

BTW, did you know that according to Uncyclopedia, these rodents are communists? Building an army? Click on the link if you don’t believe me.

Oh well, I guess it will only be for the week. If our cat Snowflake doesn’t make the hamster …“disappear” that is.  Moehahahaha!

snowflake and hamster

Bad bad mommy.

signature

How do you feel about mother’s day?

Mother's Day card

Mother’s Day card (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Why I Hate Mothers Day

It celebrates the great lie about women: That those with children are more important than those without…

by author Anne Lamott

How do you feel about mother’s day? Does the upcoming mothers day raise your blood pressure a bit? Is it a day you look forward too or a day that you apprehend? Walking around you see all these advertisements for gift ideas to get your mom. Even your email can’t hide from all that publicity. “Treat your mom to a luxurious spa” —Hmm, spa…

Maybe you lost a child, maybe you grew up without a mom or perhaps your mama died and the though of her is still just to painful.

For me, mother’s day used to be right up there with the other days  you “must” celebrate, especially Christmas. I’m not going to get into Christmas just as yet, that might be a post for the next holidays but what I am focussing on now, is mother’s day now or how it should be called:  “Hail me for cooking your dinner and doing your laundry day” Now that’s a day I wouldn’t mind getting celebrated for.

However, mother’s day was one of those days that would remind me that I was all alone at some point in my life. Living in a foreign country, raising my teenagers on my own, without any love or support from my a-mother or any family for that matter. My a-dad lived far far away.

And how is it possible anyways for all the other moms out there to be happy and served on mother’s day? My mother-in-law lost her mom last year and the pain is still fresh because it would have been her birthday around this time. They were very close. I have friends who wish they could be mothers but it hasn’t happened or at least not yet. This is a sad day for my friends. How about the single mothers? Who’s cooking for their kids tonight? How about all the mothers who work in restaurants today, serving other mothers? Or in the shops? It’s a recipe for discontentment.

Now don’t me wrong, I don’t hate mother’s day,I used to but I’ve hated it less and less over the years. Not only because my situation has changed: a new loving husband and being found by my birth family, but because of the grace of God. He quieted my heart, He helped me see that I wasn’t alone and that He had great plans in store for me. We are never alone you see:

• We are loved with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

• We are the apple of His eye. (Proverbs 7:2)

• Our name is engraved in the palm of His hands. (Isaiah 49:16)

• We are carried through every storm. (Mark 4:35-41)

• We are wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

• We are watched over day and night. (Psalm 121:1-8)

• We are forgiven. (1 John 1:9)

• We are rejoiced over with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

I should say though that I am not condemning anyone for celebrating this day but what I do think is that you don’t have to buy expensive gifts to show your love. There are many many other ways to do so. Be creative. I will be giving my birth momma a small gift for the first time, because I want her to know that I care about her, I love her and that mother’s day must have been as painful for her as it was for me and now we can celebrate!

So friends, this year, I won’t be moody if my kids forget me. Over the years they have blessed me with many, many, many sorts of artwork that will last me a lifetime. Heck, even though two of them are teens now, their art still garnishes the walls of our home, more beautiful than any Monet will do. I will remember that I’m not only a blessing to them, but they are a blessing to me too and that is remembered each and everyday in our home.

Try to turn the pain of mother’s day into joy. Enjoy this weekend and remember that you are loved!

Please don’t hesitate to share how you feel about mother’s day. I am not claiming to be a specialist on this matter. My views come from what I’ve learned, what I’ve experienced, and what I’ve perceived as an adult adoptee and so I really would like to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Have a great weekend!

Bad bad mommy…and daddy!

Yesterday, after a long day of work,  I came home not only to cook diner for my family but I had forgotten our youngest daughter of 9 , had a school project due for the next day. I’ve never been good at getting stuff done well ahead of time and this project wasn’t any different.

Her project was about Brussels. You know, the capital town of the European Union and of Belgium? You might be rolling your eyes at your screen now, but believe me, when I’m travelling and I say that I live in Belgium, I’ve had people tell me “Oh yeah, the capital of Brussels!”. I’m then the one rolling my eyes.

Anyway, that was off topic, back on the subject now. I came home, cooked diner and for the first time in my life, I baked a whole batch of Belgian waffles. Here they call them “Brusselse wafels”. They looked pretty good, but I wasn’t convinced about the taste. Oh well. You can see a bit missing on the bottom waffle….I’m the culprit.

While I was doing that, my husband was putting the Atomium together. We had a little argument about ; how much parental help is too much help with school projects? I mean, I was baking waffles and he’s making the Atomium and all the while Veruna is asking ” Can I help, please? Can I do something please?”  I hope we haven’t scared her for life now. Bad mama, bad papa! I’m promising myself that I will let her do her next project by a-l-l by herself, with maybe some help from me.

Once my husband had put the whole thing together, she did get the chance to help wrap the darn thing in alunium, alumion, aluminum….Arg, in foil. The next stage was hiding it from the cats. They destroy everything that catches their interest. This was the finished product :

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Atomium, this is what it looks like in real life :

Atonium

Atonium (Photo credit: Med PhotoBlog)

So by the time my hubby finished the construction and I finished making the waffles (made more than was planned because everyone kept on eating them) it was almost 11 pm…Noy much of a relaxing evening. Thank Goodness it’s Friday folks!

Have a great weekend!

Invasion of Cats – Sleeping with cats

Can you spot the teen?

Our cats are attracted to our our beds like I am pulled to a newly bought tub of  Ben & Jerry’s (embarrassing). It’s crazy, we usually don’t let the cats sleep with us in our beds, but my son is sick at home and wanted the company, so within the minute of leaving his bedroom door open, this is was the result.

I would like to think that it’s because our cats love us so much, but I’m more inclined to think that it’s because we ‘re a pretty efficient source of heating instead.

After about five minutes later my son yelled from his room : “Mom, can you please get the stupid cats out of here, I can’t sleep.” 

Hey, at least they weren’t lying on him, or up on his face like they usually do.

Sleeping with cats?

Motivationals for teens

Motivation

“Motivation is the driving force by which humans achieve their goals.” – Wikipedia

And because I want to achieve the goal of a tidy house I try to grab the attention of my teens by trying to be funny. But however funny I tend to find myself, my kids can’t even crack a smile.

I LOVE motivational posters and have used one already to express the fury that I was feeling inside. It helped so I tried to be original and make 3D ones . I was proud of myself for coming up with such a wonderful , witty idea that I started to scour the net, just to make sure that I was the only witty one on the web. But no, I found out I wasn’t the only one with this “brilliant” idea. Some wittier student was before me, using self-made motivational posters to try to get threw to his very very very messy roommate.

Oh well!

I’ll let you know how it worked when I get back home tonight.

Try and make one yourself on The Motivator

Always feel free to share your original parenting ideas. I can always use some help.^^

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...