As I said in my previous post, I’m going to explain to you why we choose to do In Vitro and our point of view as Christians. This is OUR point of view, we do not have the right to judge others and so we don’t. I am sure that other Christians dealing with infertility have prayed prayed prayed about their situation and have chosen to do fertility treatment or not. This is a personal question only left up to the couple and to God.
Before I start, let me explain. I already have two “children”. A son of 17 yo and a 19 yo daughter. I was 15 and 17 yo when I had them. I have never regretted having them, instead of “holding me back” or “missing out”, they in the contrary embellished my life and they are everything to me. It doesn’t take away the fact that I was very young. Now that I am 34 and have a wonderful husband and a stable income, I would love to have a child with him. My husband also has a 10 yo daughter who lives with us every other week.
Why did we choose to do In Vitro?
I suffer from a serious form of Endometriosis. Endometriosis is a female health disorder that occurs when cells from the lining of the womb (uterus) grow in other areas of the body. This can lead to pain, irregular bleeding, and problems getting pregnant. In my case, I regularly form cysts, chocolate cysts the doctors call it because they are filled with old blood. I need surgery every so often to remove them, and them in December 2011, they had to remove my left fallopian tube because it was damaged beyond repair. The right fallopian tube is totally blocked, but the surgeon left it there because he knew that my husband and I wanted to have children together. We had just gotten married. The surgeon did tell us that it was only a matter of time before they would have to remove the other tube, due to pain and infections. So we had limited time.
Still, we waited, prayed and talked to other Christians, asking their point of view. Many told us that God can work in mysterious ways and that we needed to be patient, but we didn’t have much time. And I do believe in healing from God, but I equally believe that he has giving doctors the gift as well. Plus, I never heard of a fallopian tube growing back? Ha, you never know.
Anyway, we visited a fertility doctor last summer. We had already been to his office almost a year before, and when he asked us why we took so long to make a decision, we told him that we were Christians. Not something very common here in Belgium and you could see the surprise on his face. Anyway, we explained to him our beliefs and what we wanted and what we definitely didn’t want. No destroying of embryos. I think that when you are a Christian, you must speak to your doctor frankly. Many people don’t think that an embryo is a life yet because it doesn’t have a heartbeat, but it is a creation. It’s alive, it’s growing and it has DNA. It might not have a heartbeat, it doen’t look like a baby, yet, all the qualities are there and it has the potential to become a human being. Again, it’s a creation from me and my husband. From a mother and a father. A fetus is just as much human as a human who is already born. Just how “child” and “adult” are words describing stages in a human’s life, so is the term “fetus.” It just describes an unborn life.
Getting off track here. So, being honest with our doctor helped a lot. Many women really want to have as many follicles (potential eggs) as possible. I didn’t but when my three follicles only resulted in my having just one egg…well, I was disappointed, because, after hearing all the stories and people telling you that the chances are slim, well, 1 egg doesn’t give you much chance, does it? But our doctor said ‘you only need one egg’. Our egg did become an embryo, a top embryo the laboratory told us and after two days, they put our emmy back. Ten days later, I found out that I was pregnant. One egg. It was a miracle in our eyes. God has given me what I had asked for, just like Hannah in the book of Samuel, she was barren and childless, she asked God for a child, and He granted her Samuel.
“I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.” 1 Samuel 1:27
But for reasons that I or no one else can understand, this emmy died in my womb.
When you go through a miscarriage, a woman tends to blame herself first. I shouldn’t have done this, I shouldn’t have eaten that. Maybe if I would have done this or that….but in the end, sometimes nature just takes over. We have mourned our unborn child, but we know where he/she is, and the fact that I became pregnant instantly, with just one egg, has been a miracle in our eyes.
This has been a couple of months ago. I am now in my second trial. We are doing the antagonist protocol in a natural cycle. I am again on Gonal F (low dose) and started Certrotide yesterday. If any of you have done or are doing treatment and have used Certrotide as well, please tell me the itchiness is normal. Arg. Looked like I had a mosquito bite after the shot. But it’s all back to normal now. On the ultrasound yesterday, I had 5 follicles The doctor is waiting for three of them to be big enough and we will hopefully be doing the pick up next week. There can be three eggs, or none, you never know. I’m just hoping for one good one. God still stays in control, no matter what.