Why I Hate Mothers Day
It celebrates the great lie about women: That those with children are more important than those without…
by author Anne Lamott
How do you feel about mother’s day? Does the upcoming mothers day raise your blood pressure a bit? Is it a day you look forward too or a day that you apprehend? Walking around you see all these advertisements for gift ideas to get your mom. Even your email can’t hide from all that publicity. “Treat your mom to a luxurious spa” —Hmm, spa…
Maybe you lost a child, maybe you grew up without a mom or perhaps your mama died and the though of her is still just to painful.
For me, mother’s day used to be right up there with the other days you “must” celebrate, especially Christmas. I’m not going to get into Christmas just as yet, that might be a post for the next holidays but what I am focussing on now, is mother’s day now or how it should be called: “Hail me for cooking your dinner and doing your laundry day” Now that’s a day I wouldn’t mind getting celebrated for.
However, mother’s day was one of those days that would remind me that I was all alone at some point in my life. Living in a foreign country, raising my teenagers on my own, without any love or support from my a-mother or any family for that matter. My a-dad lived far far away.
And how is it possible anyways for all the other moms out there to be happy and served on mother’s day? My mother-in-law lost her mom last year and the pain is still fresh because it would have been her birthday around this time. They were very close. I have friends who wish they could be mothers but it hasn’t happened or at least not yet. This is a sad day for my friends. How about the single mothers? Who’s cooking for their kids tonight? How about all the mothers who work in restaurants today, serving other mothers? Or in the shops? It’s a recipe for discontentment.
Now don’t me wrong, I don’t hate mother’s day,I used to but I’ve hated it less and less over the years. Not only because my situation has changed: a new loving husband and being found by my birth family, but because of the grace of God. He quieted my heart, He helped me see that I wasn’t alone and that He had great plans in store for me. We are never alone you see:
• We are loved with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
• We are the apple of His eye. (Proverbs 7:2)
• Our name is engraved in the palm of His hands. (Isaiah 49:16)
• We are carried through every storm. (Mark 4:35-41)
• We are wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
• We are watched over day and night. (Psalm 121:1-8)
• We are forgiven. (1 John 1:9)
• We are rejoiced over with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
I should say though that I am not condemning anyone for celebrating this day but what I do think is that you don’t have to buy expensive gifts to show your love. There are many many other ways to do so. Be creative. I will be giving my birth momma a small gift for the first time, because I want her to know that I care about her, I love her and that mother’s day must have been as painful for her as it was for me and now we can celebrate!
So friends, this year, I won’t be moody if my kids forget me. Over the years they have blessed me with many, many, many sorts of artwork that will last me a lifetime. Heck, even though two of them are teens now, their art still garnishes the walls of our home, more beautiful than any Monet will do. I will remember that I’m not only a blessing to them, but they are a blessing to me too and that is remembered each and everyday in our home.
Try to turn the pain of mother’s day into joy. Enjoy this weekend and remember that you are loved!
Please don’t hesitate to share how you feel about mother’s day. I am not claiming to be a specialist on this matter. My views come from what I’ve learned, what I’ve experienced, and what I’ve perceived as an adult adoptee and so I really would like to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Have a great weekend!