To search or not to search?

Why do some people prefer not to know where they are from? Why do some prefer not to search? I started searching as soon as I could figure a computer out and have never regretted it, even though it took me 13 years and I didn’t find anyone in the end. No, I was the one who was to be found. ~~Me~~


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3 thoughts on “To search or not to search?

  1. I would go years in-between bouts of searching. My last attempt was Mother’s Day 2005, I sent out a dozen cards to women with her name. I wrote a letter to a woman I didn’t know and feared maybe she didn’t want to, not because I wasn’t worthy of it, but because the pain, shame, or disappointment would be too great. I reconciled with myself that I would rather leave her to a peace I hope she had found than search her out and turn her world upside-down. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to know but that I didn’t think it was worth the pain I could bring.

    • I had been looking for 13 years. It became an obsession to me. My happiness depended on it and I decided to just stop looking and to start living. I didn’t want to be depressed no more and I came to terms with the fact that no one was looking for me. I had put myself out there in any way possible, so finding me would have been easy enough.
      I just put my trust into God. He has a plan for all of us and maybe this is not what He had in store for me.
      My birth mother found it to painful and she just thought, I gave her up, so I shouldn’t be going looking after for her now. But my birth sister couldn’t leave it at that and one day, while she was bored, she started cruising the internet and found me after just 15 minutes I think she said.
      What I’m trying to say here is, yes, maybe no one is looking for you right now, maybe it will never happen, but don’t let it define who you are and how you feel.
      I wish I could help…

      • “Finding me would have been easy enough” I thought the same thing. I put my information on the internet as soon as the internet became a thing and then…nothing…Speaking to my mother now she says she spent countless years and countless money searching for me and at first I thought must have been a lie to make me feel better but then…I spent considerable time scouring the internet and using special clearance access to get a list of names and even I came up short.

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