He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
I’m tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’m tired from no sleep. I’m tired of trying so hard to function. I’m frustrated. I’m weak. I’m what Isaiah calls “weary.” Weird, considering that I’ve been on “vacation” since last Monday. Yet, I still get up early in the morning and feel exhausted by 7 pm. Sometimes, I lie awake making out my to-do list in my mind. In the morning, I wake up as tired as when I went to bed. The real problem is I didn’t get enough sleep.
Being on vacation doesn’t mean I can just sit down and rest, it just means I don’t have to go to work. I still have to clean, mother, cook and do stuff I usually don’t have enough time doing whilst having to work.Doctor appointments, shopping for the kids summer clothing, clean the windows…arrgghhh!
So, I sort of was neglecting God, by the time I had “me time” in the evening I would just drop myself onto my bed like a sack of potatoes (not that I would drop them into bed ,but you get the picture)-I’m wanting to drift off to dreamland rather than to grab my bible and read. I try to pray and I end up by doing it eventually, but I must say I’m pretty embarrassed at how lazy my prayers have become. Either I’ll just mumble “I lay my head down to sleep” . No fuss there or I’ll just say something like ” Thank you Lord for this day, please bless my family and me…” I’m just so tired and I just can’t concentrate.
I really try to, but then I hear the cars on the road -our house is situated on a pretty busy street. Or our mama cat will be miauwing like crazy. She just had kittens and the’re walking around, this seems to make her feel uncomfortable. But what usually happens is that when I’m praying, my brain takes me, pulls me away from God. Result of this is that I just couldn’t feel near to God anymore the last couple of weeks, I couldn’t seem to enter into his presence.
But now I’ve realized the reason why I wasn’t feeling God’s presence lately is because I wasn’t making any time for Him. I just gave Him the bits of time I choose to give, thinking, ahhh, He’ll understand, He knows that I’m exhausted!
Then the Lord showed me that I wasn’t putting Him first. I was putting everything else before Him and He ended up with what was left. How terrible does that sound?
So this morning I got up as early as usual, happy to be the only one up. I can have a cup of coffee and some time for myself and for God. I prayed, not just a quicky, but a heartfelt prayer and took my bible and spent some time with Him. I finally felt Him near me again.
Even David felt the pressure of life. He protected, guided, and tended to his sheep. How did David manage? He looked to his Good Shepherd for rest and the Lord provided. “He makes me to lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside the still waters, he restores my soul” (Psalm 23:2-3).
So from now on , my green pasture will b the cool early mornings, when no one else is up and I can just sit alone in silence with my cup of coffee and my bible. The secret is stealing away with God to places of unending rest.
Dear Lord, I’m sorry that I’ve become so selfish and have choosen to put you aside and put myself first. You never give us more than we can handle and You want us to come to You and rest. Help me to rest. Guard my time and help me manage my responsibilities so that I can renew myself emotionally, spiritually, and psychically each day.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.